Mouli Harshith

You know, let me make it informal. For time being, I was odd. Different. Dropping physics in my 12 th , it took me two years and yet I still do not know why I am doing Marketing in Business Administration. I freak out every single time when I think of what I am going to do in the future. I do not love my subject, neither can I do anything with my love for physics now. It had been two years since there had been a lot of changes in my body and mind but I fail to see growth anywhere. In fact, it is a feeling that I am going backward instead. Being lazy to study, failing to find interest in any freaking thing I do, if at all I might want to change my path, I can, but only if I love something else, right? The quest comes back to the same question again. What do I love doing? Nothing! I broke down extremely bad. I don’t know why I am associating myself with others. I know my journey is different but I don’t know how to get that association out of my mind. I don’t know how not to keep myself ...

  Life is always full of surprises. That too in the path of growth, surprises of every kind are imminent. There is no good or bad in the kind of surprises I am talking about. In the context of one whole life, in the bigger picture, everything is a contribution for us to be a better version of ourselves. A few years ago, when I was in my 11 th  standard, I used to go to my junior college, which is 10 kilometres away from my home in an auto-rickshaw. There used to be a tendency in me where I used to relate everything that would either have an intense effect on my mind or would be jeopardising enough to make me feel off for time being. It was one such day, when I had to see a person from my college collapsed intoxicatedly on the road while I was travelling to the college. That thought did not bug me enough until I was back home. That evening, while I was about to meditate, it bugged me enough that I could not meditate, was feeling a different sensation I have never felt, in my he...

Once in a while, this question keeps pulling me back. It just stands in front of my face like a god I am accountable to.  The world fills my head. I see stairways around me and people just running ahead on those steps and me? I see myself struggling on my knees to climb those stairs. The associations I go through, the passion for life surrounded by fire, experiencing growth through milestones, breaking barriers, everything seems quite achievable with one thing. That one thing is the question that stares at my face. Purpose. One thing in life that is worth dedicating it for. It’s been said, life always moves according to a plan. Does not matter how, but it is meant to move towards the better until we get to the best. It is meant to evolve. Whatever you do, I mean, whatever I do, cry, laugh, hangout with friends, watch movies, study, sleep, this thing keeps running in the background. What am I supposed to do? Where am I supposed to go? Will I ever be ready to receive what I want? Wha...

There had always been a question in me from when I was a kid. Is there God? Like everyone grows up in the concepts of god, their belief systems, the way they grow in the world and finally end up making god a concept in the books, art in the pictures, a thought in the mind or an option to reach out to when nobody is there to go to, or, finally, a connection in the heart. Like everyone, I was brought up in the world that had me to see god as a picture in the worship area of home. Slowly, he started to spread away in various places in a city, which I got to know as temples. I used to wonder. Who is this man? Why are there so many temples for one man and it turned out there are more of them! Also, there are women! I was more confused until ‘God’ became a concept in my mind. Being born in a brahmin family, rituals impact our daily lives a lot. On the way of doing all of these rituals to please god, I used to wonder if he really existed and if he did, where would he be (or she). The...