The Journey

Once in a while, this question keeps pulling me back. It just stands in front of my face like a god I am accountable to. 

The world fills my head. I see stairways around me and people just running ahead on those steps and me? I see myself struggling on my knees to climb those stairs. The associations I go through, the passion for life surrounded by fire, experiencing growth through milestones, breaking barriers, everything seems quite achievable with one thing. That one thing is the question that stares at my face. Purpose. One thing in life that is worth dedicating it for. It’s been said, life always moves according to a plan. Does not matter how, but it is meant to move towards the better until we get to the best. It is meant to evolve. Whatever you do, I mean, whatever I do, cry, laugh, hangout with friends, watch movies, study, sleep, this thing keeps running in the background. What am I supposed to do? Where am I supposed to go? Will I ever be ready to receive what I want? What do I really want? These questions pop up like they are always there and when they do, they rip my soul apart, making me scream for answers. I mean, a life is meant to be lived right? It took me someone whom I love to make me realise how much ever I ask for, I scream, I hold on, it just takes away my peace. What is the whole point? You ask for something but when it is not the right time nor if the situation supports, what can you do? What can anybody do for that matter? Like, if I was told this a year ago or so, much to my surprise I would have readily agreed because there was no feverishness in the head that I am so compelled to think about it. The days are short, there is no time on one hand but on the other hand, it seems there is enough time for everything to fall right in place. What can anybody do? Other than to put one hundred percent in whatever is meant to be done and wait? Accept it or not, agree with it or not, things never were in our hands, things will never be in our hands. But to work for something we want, face our fears, put one hundred percent? One thing always in our own hands. I was just in a wrong journey after all. Instead of trying to find out the answers for those questions, keeping them in the background in a locked box inside the head like they are there but are not pulling all the nerves and distracting me from living my own life is the whole point. The outcome? When I have faith and when I know I am doing everything in my hands for things to turn out how they are meant to be, what do I have to fear? Dropping is difficult. Holding on is sometimes difficult either. But dropping something until it is actually time? Priceless. Sure, it is the most difficult part. But when you know what you want, you have so much of faith and you believe that shall happen, you fear nothing. I mean me. I should rather focus on the journey and cherish the walk.


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